“Dear Pearl” :: Humor for Rabbit Breeders

By Ellyn. Filed in Humor  |   
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Here it is! I hope all you breeders enjoy this  first  post called, “Dear Pearl,”  poking fun at my favorite hobby.  Being a series of letters from imaginary breeder Britanny Petite to her dear friend, Pearl Marten.

[Disclaimer: All characters mentioned in these “letters” are fictional (at least, most of them! ) as well as all clubs (except ARBA/ACBA), shows, locations, and/or incidents.  These letters are intended get some fun out of the hobby of rabbit breeding and showing.  However, please be aware that these “letters” do NOT reflect usual or recommended practices of rabbit show breeders.  It’s more often quite the opposite…]

Dear Pearl,

How are things with you and your rabbitry?  I’m doing fine: eating well and getting plenty of sleep.  Please don’t think me lazy; I’m saving up for next week when I have 16 does due and only 11 nestboxes bought.  Next year, remind me that breeding rabbits in the winter is like trying to beat Betty Chu: it’s a lose-lose proposition.  If I don’t run a heater I’m up 24/7 to catch the babies, and if I do, I’m up 24/7 for fear of fire.

I did get a litter of three on Christmas Eve and named them Ho, Ho, and Ho.  I like to do that with juniors.  I can post “Ho” for sale on my website a month before nationals and I get a little extra time to decide which one that is.  For now though, they’re the laziest little black bundles I’ve ever seen.  Each opened one eye a full three days ahead of the other eye, and the only time I’ve seen one out of the box yet is when Ho dared Ho to stick its tongue to the steel J-feeder.  (By the way, please pardon my use of the pronoun “its”.  I’m not one of those talented beings that can squint just right and sex kits at birth.)

I hope you can make it to our PORC show next month.  PORC (Polish Only Rabbit Club) is a really cool group of breeders that focuses on “the other white variety,” that is, BEW’s.

Well, I look forward to hearing from you, but there’s no rush.  Just get back to me before the Lionheads get accepted.


Coming Next time on the Rabbit Smarties Blog: “The Coolness of Himalayan”

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